Article of tips for women who have trouble dating

5 Dating Worries That Destroy Your Chances for Happiness (And How to Focus on What Really Matters)

Headline Ideas:

The Big Dating Rules You Worry Too Much About

Big Dating Things That Aren’t That Big of a Deal

The Kind of Dating Stuff You Worry Too Much About

You’ve Gotta Stop Worrying About These Things Dating

5 Things About Dating You Care About Too Much

The 5 Dating Worries That Will Ruin Your Chances

The 5 Dating Anxieties That Will Destroy Your Chances for Happiness (And How to Focus on What Really Matters)

5 Dating Worries That Destroy Your Chances for Happiness (And How to Focus on What Really Matters)

Ever get that sinking feeling in your stomach when you are about to on a date?

Maybe you’ve tried looking up some tips online, read some articles, like you are right now. There’s hundreds of articles about dating floating around on the internet, a wealth of information you can read on the topic. 

It makes sense because dating is the first step to having a relationship with someone.

If there’s so much information available, it should make it easier, right

That never seems to be the case. It can often leave you swirling with more questions than answers.

Let me start by asking, why do you worry about a date? Yes, you! I bet I have a guess. It may seem a bit obvious, but let’s dive into it further.

It’s probably same reason why we worry about most things. We have an expectation. 

We worry that the expectation will not be met.

What to start doing

Drop the expectation and you’ll be surprised at what can present itself to you. 

Look at each date, hell, each event in your life…as a story you are weaving. 

Practice for something to come.  

Expect nothing, but strive for a good time. 

You’re probably saying, “Wow, that sounds really fine and dandy, but I have a list of sh*t that runs through my head!”

I understand, I really do. So, what I go over in this article tries to cover the stuff that can worry us all about dating, from the small to the big things. 

#6 Being too weird

This really equates to being yourself. Don’t be something you’re not for impressions sake. 

Honestly, this reads to me, “being too much of yourself.” Stop worrying about that. 

I read somewhere that on a first date you are dating the ‘representative’ of that person. It shouldn’t have to be that way.

The best thing you can do is to be weird, be you, because I promise it’s really hard to be someone else for long. Revealing things that make us vulnerable causes a reciprocity from the other side to open up as well, building trust.

Quirks are endearing. They make us more human. Someone who can’t appreciate something outside of their “idolized mold” of a perfect partner has overwhelming insecurities of their own. 

Of course, there’s a line to draw. You don’t want to spill your entire history out on the first date, but don’t hold back on having a genuine conversation.

What really matters: Dress for what you feel the most brave in. Get out of your own thoughts. Be on the date, be present, having a great time.

#5 Saying something stupid

This goes somewhat hand in hand with being too weird. The easiest way to relieve yourself from this fear is to not over-analyze. Just be authentic. 

As Mark Twain said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” 

This of course means flat out lying, but I perceive it another way as well. The less you have to stay in your own head about “how you sound” or “giving off an appearance”, the more of a real connection you begin to generate.

In turn, if they say something stupid, don’t take anything personally. Take it with a mindset of curiosity and explore their opinion. It’ll reveal more about themselves.

What really matters:  The only stupid thing you can say is yes when you mean no, and no when you mean yes. Don’t go on a second date because you felt guilty. 

Trust your gut and go with the flow .

#4 Coming off too strong

Everyone frets over who should text first. If you’re both dying wondering this but too scared, isn’t that the saddest thing of all?

Allow yourself get in touch when you want to, just know you should aim for a general balance of you both reaching out equally.

What really matters:  At worst, if this person isn’t a fit for you, you walk away with knowing what kind of traits you desire and don’t desire. You walk away with more than what you started with.

Again, you have to drop the attachment to the outcome to really be happy even when a date is so-so…

#3 When to have sex

There used to be the five date rule, then the three date rule, but what is this trying to accomplish? Getting to know one another. 

Don’t worry about 

There isn’t a universal right amount of time for each and every person. Your gut feelings and chemistry are very liable to be different for every situation. 

#2 How quickly things are moving

If you’re nervous about spending the weekend at their place or afraid of seeming like your newly found date is the only thing in your life, stop it!

If you BOTH want to hang out (you’re getting signals from them that they want to as well), then go for it. Understand, I said both. 

Don’t force it. Trust your gut when someone isn’t taking action to see you or keep up with you. 

What really matters: If it’s meant to unfold into something more, it will. Forcing it will only end in heartbreak and usually only on one side. If there’s true interest on both sides, you’ll know.  

#1 Finding the ‘perfect’ match

Instead of telling yourself to change what is a natural human desire: to find someone to love, I only ask you to change your mindset about dating. 

When on a date, instead of trying to find that “special someone”, make your goal about “simply having a good time.” Make the goal of dating to have fun, not to find a partner for life. 

We want so badly for each date with each new person to be ‘it’. To know this person could be our future. We instead should ask if this person will be in our future. 

Why does this subtle word make the difference? 

Because you should be building a life that someone would want to be a part of. 

What really matters: When you spend less focus on trying to find the perfect partner you’ll have more energy and ability to be with them when they enter your life.

When you find someone that makes you happy, it’s surprising to most that they don’t always fit the ‘mold’ we had in mind.

That isn’t to say you shouldn’t look for someone who meets

Know though, that simply having someone in your life doesn’t equate to having love. 


I hope that these have helped you better understand that dating doesn’t have to be stressful as long as you understand your mindset going into it. 

If I could leave you with one thought to take away in a sentence, it would be this: 

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but your thoughts are the bigger predictor of the experience you will have, rather than the experience itself. 

I told you that I had rounded up some of the best content on the internet about dating, so here it is…

What other thoughts do you feel ruin your shot at success on a date? Leave a comment!

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